2020: The Year of Lessons

As the year 2020 quickly comes to a close, I am provided an opportunity to reflect on the lessons I personally learned from the year.  Every year, situation or moment offers the chance to learn a lesson.  Since 2020 hasn't been the most ideal year, it has offered a distinct set of lessons that, were it any regular year, I would have never been able to uncover.  Upon this reflection, I have found these to be the most significant lessons learned from 2020:

1) Gratitude- First and foremost I learned how fortunate I am.  I, unlike numerous people, have still been able to work and provide for my family.  I understand that this isn't the case for all people so I feel sincere gratitude that I have been less affected by government intervention than most.  2020 has taught me to be thankful for the things I have in my life.

2) Self Exploration- While developing the self is not something new for me. This year brought new levels of self exploration and acceptance.  I've had the opportunity to explore my values, preferences and to really connect with my inner self on another level.  I learned things about myself that I did not previously know.  I healed past traumas.  I've developed a deeper understanding of what makes me tick and solidified a foundation of who I am and what I stand for.  With the external world being polarized with so much hate this year, it was a great time to retreat into myself and really focus on developing what really matters to me.

3) Priorities- Getting my internal self aligned also helped me to understand what my true priorities are.  More specifically, I learned that my top priorities are:

• My health (physical, mental and self)
• Maintaining a deep, secure, loving relationship with my wife
• Raising my children to be strong minded, adaptable and capable human beings
• Continuing to expand my comfort zone by developing new skills and implementing new practices 
• Continuing to grow the important relationships in my life

Everything else beyond this list is secondary.  Sure work, finances and a variety of other external aspects of life are important to also be mindful of, but when it comes right down to it they are secondary.  I'm done with putting emphasis on the things in life that don't align with my priorities.  Energy and time are finite resources.  I'm choosing to spend those resources wisely.  The cultivation of a good life for me is how well I performed at the above list.  Everything else is relegated to the back seat.

4) Relationships- The past year has given me an understanding of the depth of relationships in my life.  While this year has allowed me to deepen the relationships with my wife, kids and a few other individuals.  It has also given me clarity on the relationships where my energy, commitment and effort isn't being reciprocated.  This year has helped to identify the people in my life that truly want to be in my life through the demonstration of effort.  It's also helped me identify the relationships where people are saying all the correct things but not backing up those words with any effort.  I've learned that I don't want any of these fake, superficial relationships and I'm done putting in effort where it's neither reciprocated nor appreciated.

5) Society- One of the most interesting things I've learned this year is how quiet your world becomes when you a) start developing, acknowledging and displaying your true self and b) fitting into societal norms no longer becomes your focus.  Earlier in the year I stopped discussing my opinions about current events.  Instead, I attempted to have conversations about topics such as psychology, philosophy, mindset and internal practices.  The response? complete silence and blank stares.  I learned that most people don't have much to offer conversationally beyond regurgitated narratives.  I also learned that most people take 100% of their views from media outlets.  By listening to one report, I already know every response and view most people will have.  For me, superficial narratives and conversations are no longer interesting.  I now understand that I would rather have a quiet existence, surrounded by a few close individuals, than be surrounded by many superficial "friends."

2020 has been a roller coaster year.  However, you aren't going to see me whining and complaining over the inconveniences it has caused me in relation to the numerous lessons it has taught.  While I don't want to take away from the hardships it has caused for many people, for me individually it has brought a level of understanding, self awareness and re-focusing that I would have never discovered if the year didn't occur like it had.  For that, I say thank you to 2020 for the lessons...and onto 2021!!