Become Your Own Hero

I've always had an interest in the mental aspect of the human experience.  This led me to pursing an undergraduate degree in psychology and has also the reason why I've spent numerous hours reading and researching the topics of psychology and philosophy.  While I don't consider myself an expert on the topics.  I believe I have an above average grasp on the subject matter.  This grasp has led to numerous changes to my overall approach to life. 

Earlier in life, I like most people that didn't put much thought into the pursuit of a meaningful existence.  I was focused on the more superficial aspects of life such as career, money, status and climbing the corporate ladder.  While there isn't anything inherently bad about these things.  I always found that there was always something missing in these pursuits.  If I ever achieved a goal, it always felt meaningless and never really had the intended impact.  This was interesting to me because the goals I was achieving were the things that I was told would lead to a meaningful and happy life.  

So why did it always feel like something was missing?

It wasn't until I began to research more in-depth on the topics of self exploration, value systems and the philosophy of existence that I began to understand why I felt that there was always something missing that I couldn't fill with superficial achievement.  Armed with this new understanding,  I began to explore different practices with the goal of understanding and enhancing my own existence.  

Over the past 3 years I have dedicated myself to the self practices of meditation and Yoga.  While also really diving deep into the philosophy of Stoicism and the psychological practices of Freud, Jung, Nietzsche.  I've also explored the teachings of more current professors like Jordan Peterson and Joseph Campbell.  

My engagement in these practices and my understanding of these philosophical and psychological principles has given me a renewed clarity on the world and how I fit into it.  From this I have developed a list of guiding principles that has helped me in creating my own "Hero Story."  

If this is something that you have been pondering as well, hopefully this list can give provide you a foundation to become the hero of your own narrative.

1) Learn how to breathe properly

The first thing I learned from both meditation and Yoga was just how shitty I was at breathing.  If you aren't able to breathe deeply through just your nose or take long slow deep breathes, you too don't breathe properly.  The inability to breathe properly sets off a chain reaction of a host of other issues within the body.  Learn how to breathe.

2) Develop a personal ethos

An ethos is a framework or value set which is the foundation that we make moral choices.  When I started diving into developing myself, I realized that my personal ethos wasn't well defined.  There were traits and values that I thought were important but I couldn't solidly define as principles.  Your ethos should be developed enough that you understand what you stand for. This guides the decisions that you make in life.  Your values should also have more substance to them than the current "make money, fuck bitches" principle that is so prevalent in today's society.  If you want to develop yourself as a person, first start with your ethos.

3) Life is meaningless

Now this might sound bleak and nihilistic, but hear me out.  Life in itself has no meaning.  In the words of Alan Watts, "The meaning of life is to just be alive."  If you are looking for the meaning of life in the external world, you are going to be disappointed.  Each person creates their own meaning.  You are given a life.  It's up to you what you do with it.  Life is meaningless, it's up to you to create the meaning.

4) Show, don't tell

In the era of internet trolls, social media arguments, social justice protests and dog shit politicians there is an abundance of people talking about all the things they are, that they deserve or that they are entitled to.  There are however, significantly fewer people embodying the things that they say.  Historically, the most influential people in the world demonstrated their personal philosophies.  If you are unable to do the things you say, just shut the fuck up about it.  You only develop yourself through the act of doing. 

5) Be careful what you put your energy into

In the words of Mark Manson, "Learn what you give a fuck about."  In a society that constantly tells you what to give a fuck about, you need to understand that you shouldn't give a fuck about everything.  Be frugal with your fucks and only give your attention to things that are actually important to you.

6) Accept both your persona and your shadow

Carl Jung's theory of the self states (in simplified terms) that every individual has two sides to them.  Our conscious side, or our persona, is the mask that we show to the world.  The persona contains all the societal norms and cultural aspects of ourselves we have learned to help us thrive in social situations.  Our unconscious side, or our shadow, is all our traits or urges that society has deemed to be bad or unsavory.  These two things together make up our Self.  The vast majority or people have an overdeveloped persona and an underdeveloped shadow.  In order to truly feel at ease within yourself and understand who you are, you need to develop and accept both your persona and your shadow.  

7) Not everything is emotional, not everything is logical

Similar to item number 6, we all have emotions and we all have reasoned choice.  These things are meant to work together to help us navigate our existence.  This means that just because you feel something, doesn't mean that it is true and on the flip side, just because we can rationalize something doesn't make it true.  If you spend all your time relying on your emotions, you are going to spend a tremendous amount of time being severely affected by the external world.  If you spend all your time relying on rationality, you will try to rationalize things that aren't rational (an example of this is why my beautiful wife has decided to spend the rest of her life with me, there's no rationality to it).  Again, you must develop both these parts of yourself.  Don't neglect one for the other.

8) Get off your ass

There has always been debate as to which is more important, physical health or mental health.  The problem with this is that people need to understand that these things are two sides of the same coin.  They influence and affect each other in both positive and negative ways.  You can develop your mental health as much as you'd like but at most you are only doing half the work.  Evolutionary psychology tells us that humans are meant to move and work.  Do yourself a favor and get off your ass.

9) No one is coming to save you

You life is yours alone.  If you keep expecting someone else to take care of you, or if you need tremendous support in order to complete the most minuscule task, then you my friend are no different than a helpless infant.  Take some accountability in your life.  Come up with solutions to your own problems.  Quit blaming others for your shitty life.  You are entirely capable of fixing your own mess.  Stop thinking others are responsible for you.  Figure your own shit out.

10) We all end up in the same place

Whether you want to admit it or not, eventually you and everyone you know is going to die.  We are given a finite amount of time on this world.  Instead of using it to bitch on the internet about things, or chase frivolous pleasures.  Why not use the time to ensure that your life has purpose and meaning.  This should be the goal when you're lying on your deathbed.  The goal shouldn't be the amount of cash in your bank account or the number of orgasms you've accumulated.    

While this is not an exhaustive list of things that I've learned during my time of research and self exploration.  I could probably write for hours on the topic.  This does provide a good foundation for anyone to begin the process.  In the words of Joe Rogan, "Become the hero of your own story."  This will give you a renewed perspective on the art of living.