The Savage Gentleman

When did niceness be the only standard that we judge each other on?  On the spectrum of acceptable behavior, when did nice be the ultimate goal? "Be nice" is  bullshit.  We need to stop saying it.  It's bad advice.  Niceness is a slippery slope.  What about situations where being nice is not the appropriate action?  "Excuse me sir, please stop punching my face, I mean I'm being nice" or "Thank you for your verbal abuse, I appreciate your hatred for me and it's greatly appreciated."  See how being nice doesn't always lead to positive interactions?  Maybe we should just stop using it.  Not convinced yet?  Okay, check this out. In psychology "Agreeableness" is considered a big five personality trait.  It can be argued that niceness can be classified under this category.  While having a moderate level of agreeableness helps a person to interact properly in social situations, get along with people or stay out of jail,...

Unless you're a child and just beginning to learn about your sense of self, emotional resilience and what constitutes opinion versus fact than words don't actually hurt.  There I said it.  Call me an asshole if you like but I will redirect you to my previous statement.  Your opinion doesn't matter to me and your words and just that...fucking words. We all need to give our collective heads a fucking shake.  How often does someone get butt hurt because another person made a slightly politically incorrect statement that was meant with no malicious intent.  Can we all just agree that political correctness was a shit idea?  Can we please get back to being able to speak in clear and direct ways instead of the constant pandering to others' feelings.  Are we going to get to the point where all we do is speak in subliminal messaging?  This shit needs to stop.  Here's a fun fact.  Throughout my life and my athletic career I have probably been ...

The French philosopher Blaise Pascal wrote, "All of humanity's problems stem from a man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."  Based on my recent experiences, there are no truer words spoken.  It is also remarkable that these words were spoken in the 1600s. Over the past 7 months I have been in the midst of what I call aloneness.  This is not to be confused with loneliness.  Where loneliness is sadness because one has no friends or company.  Aloneness speaks to something different.  It is a disposition towards being alone.  It can be used as a miraculous tool to truly understand yourself.  However, there's a catch. Aloneness is really fucking difficult.  My deep dive into aloneness really came to fruition organically through a number of factors occurring all at once.  First, I too a new role at work where I spend a good 90% of my time alone.  My wife, with whom is my workout buddy, broke her foot and as such I spend 100...

Earlier this year the American Psychological Association released a document aimed at the treatment of men and boys.  Within this document it states that traditional masculinity is psychologically harmful and can be addressed through counselling. So everyone is clear, traditional masculinity is defined as: "Traits traditionally viewed as masculine in western society include strength, courage, independence, leadership and assertiveness" Being a man and also currently raising a young boy, this peaked my interest.  Since these are traits that I've found to be virtuous and that I try to display on a regular basis, I started to wonder where this whole, "all masculine traits are harmful and need to be counselled out of men and boys" came from.  It baffled me since these are traits that I in high regard and they have shaped a lot of who I am and the mindset that I have.  I've also never used these attributes to harm others, or to insight the destruction that...

The definition of self care states: " an activity that we do deliberately in order to take  care  of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Although it's a simple concept in theory, it's something we very often overlook. Good  self - care  is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. " Just like the majority of important concepts in today's society, the definition of self care has been reduced to the superficial pleasure seeking that most people chase.   As the definition drifts further from it's true meaning the results will in fact lead people in the direction of the things that they are trying to correct.   Due to this I ask you, "Has self care become the new way of avoiding actually taking care of oneself? Experts agree that the endless chasing of pleasure actually reduces happiness and increases the incidence of anxiety and depression in people.  In addition, some activities to avoid when dealing with thes...

When I was a kid, one of the lessons that was ingrained in me was to be an individual and not follow the crowd.  My parents taught me to think for myself and not do things just because others are doing or saying something. I took this to heart as I grew up.  I did things that weren't considered cool but were things that I thought were interesting or fun.  At 10 years old I rode equestrian because I was interested in it and when I got into high school I distinctly remember wearing my clothes backwards because I enjoyed listening to Kriss Kross.  There was also a period of time time I wore over-sized sweatpants with one leg rolled up because of the movie Sunset Park.  None of these things were trendy but I liked them so I did them anyways.  I don't tell you these things to prove how cool I was back in the day because clearly I was 😂😂 but to highlight that individuality was something that throughout my life I've celebrated. This lesson is somethin...

Growing up my father was my hero.  While he taught me many lessons,  most were rooted in perseverance, discipline, grit, toughness, strength and self-respect.  He spent time teaching me skills that would benefit me in adulthood and would serve me far beyond my adolescent years.  Furthermore, he taught me what it meant to be a man and the responsibility that comes along with that. As I continued to grow I began to recognize other strong male role models in society and entertainment that emulated the traits that were taught to me by my father.  Movies and TV shows depicted these men overcoming some great adversity and struggle to reach a goal or obtain a feat. Interestingly enough, these traits and lessons have served me well throughout the years to accomplish my goals in athletics, careers and relationships.  on a daily basis I try as best as I can, to personify the traits that have served me and have gotten me to where I am today. Becoming a father...