'Be Nice' Is Bullshit Advice
When did niceness be the only standard that we judge each other on? On the spectrum of acceptable behavior, when did nice be the ultimate goal?
"Be nice" is bullshit. We need to stop saying it. It's bad advice. Niceness is a slippery slope. What about situations where being nice is not the appropriate action?
"Excuse me sir, please stop punching my face, I mean I'm being nice" or "Thank you for your verbal abuse, I appreciate your hatred for me and it's greatly appreciated."
See how being nice doesn't always lead to positive interactions? Maybe we should just stop using it. Not convinced yet? Okay, check this out.
In psychology "Agreeableness" is considered a big five personality trait. It can be argued that niceness can be classified under this category. While having a moderate level of agreeableness helps a person to interact properly in social situations, get along with people or stay out of jail, it can also have its' drawbacks. Being highly agreeable means that you are more concerned with making everyone around you happy and you do not take into consideration your own feelings or thoughts in a situation. Highly agreeable people derive all their self worth from others and struggle with articulating who they are as an individual. It can also lead to naivety which can be easily exploited.
See how this can potentially be a problem?
Remember the saying "Nice guys, finish last." Where in pursuit of a love interest a man indulges every whim of the woman that he is pursuing. Then he wonders why he gets "friend-zoned." Then the man becomes resentful and bitter towards all women which can lead to terrible results.
Am I getting through yet?
Maybe it's not about being nice. Maybe it's about being real and truthful. Maybe we should change the lesson from "Be nice" to "Don't go out of your way to be hurtful." Maybe this is a better lesson.
Please stop with "Be nice." Instead, teach children in what situations that being nice is helpful and what situations require telling someone to "Fuck off." Can't we see that this is more advantageous?
Right now our society is filled with highly agreeable victims that are unable to think for themselves and derive their identity from outside sources. Then they wonder why they're miserable or unlovable.
People need to understand that we have two sides. One that helps us be productive in society and the other helps to benefit our individuality. This is the proverbial yin and yang. Each side needs to be developed in order to be a while being.
So please, stop saying "Be nice" because sometimes, in some situations, punching someones face is a completely acceptable behavior.
"Be nice" is bullshit. We need to stop saying it. It's bad advice. Niceness is a slippery slope. What about situations where being nice is not the appropriate action?
"Excuse me sir, please stop punching my face, I mean I'm being nice" or "Thank you for your verbal abuse, I appreciate your hatred for me and it's greatly appreciated." See how being nice doesn't always lead to positive interactions? Maybe we should just stop using it. Not convinced yet? Okay, check this out.
In psychology "Agreeableness" is considered a big five personality trait. It can be argued that niceness can be classified under this category. While having a moderate level of agreeableness helps a person to interact properly in social situations, get along with people or stay out of jail, it can also have its' drawbacks. Being highly agreeable means that you are more concerned with making everyone around you happy and you do not take into consideration your own feelings or thoughts in a situation. Highly agreeable people derive all their self worth from others and struggle with articulating who they are as an individual. It can also lead to naivety which can be easily exploited.
See how this can potentially be a problem?
Remember the saying "Nice guys, finish last." Where in pursuit of a love interest a man indulges every whim of the woman that he is pursuing. Then he wonders why he gets "friend-zoned." Then the man becomes resentful and bitter towards all women which can lead to terrible results.
Am I getting through yet?
Maybe it's not about being nice. Maybe it's about being real and truthful. Maybe we should change the lesson from "Be nice" to "Don't go out of your way to be hurtful." Maybe this is a better lesson.
Please stop with "Be nice." Instead, teach children in what situations that being nice is helpful and what situations require telling someone to "Fuck off." Can't we see that this is more advantageous?
Right now our society is filled with highly agreeable victims that are unable to think for themselves and derive their identity from outside sources. Then they wonder why they're miserable or unlovable.
People need to understand that we have two sides. One that helps us be productive in society and the other helps to benefit our individuality. This is the proverbial yin and yang. Each side needs to be developed in order to be a while being.
So please, stop saying "Be nice" because sometimes, in some situations, punching someones face is a completely acceptable behavior.
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